sweet ivy

this little girl scares me.  

she didn't used to.

Until December, she wasn't scary at all...

after two seizures, she scares me all the time. 

Every time she makes a weird noise, every time she breathes differently.  When I go to take her temperature in the night and she opens her eyes but doesn't register in any other way that anything abnormal is going on.  When she hiccups, or coughs...they all scare me and I over-analyze them.  I sometimes turn my rear-view mirror down and to the side so that instead of taking the second too long to turn around and make sure she's OK, I can just flit my eyes up to check on her.  (screw the cars that I'm supposed to be watching out for).  She knows she scares me too...because she makes those weird noises on purpose!

she's super sweet.  you have to kiss her just right for it to be an acceptable kiss.  if you don't do it just right, she'll kiss you over and over again until she thinks she's got it.  she loves to sing, and I love to hear her sing.  it's hilarious.  she loves max...he totally bugs her all the time and she screams at him and calls him names for it, but she wants to do just exactly what he's doing....which is why he bugs her: she's in his business!  She toots all the time and blames it on her dad...no joke, even when he's been in Hawaii for a week.  It's a little grin and  "Daddy tooted!"

her little prayers are awesome, and about 3 words long most of the time, but they are awesome.  She folds her arms and she means all three words!  she's got the cutest teeth from sucking her thumb...probably only cute to a mom...but i love it when she smiles a totally snaggle smile.  I love that she's so teeny-tiny, but that she's got a huge tummy and a chubby little tiny bum.  i love that she twirls her hair for comfort and if hers isn't available that she'll twirl mine.  

you should see her dance.  you should see her somersault.  she's amazing at helping to clean up...i love it.  she likes to peel off the crayon wrappers and let them be nakey.  she'd prefer to be in just her skivvies herself.  she enjoys taking off her shoes as soon as we get in the car (2 seconds after i put them on, mind you) she loves the "Jaws" oveture, she's obsessed with puppies and dogs, and she loves her some milk.  oh man, she loves milk.  i love everything about her teeny-tiny body, even when she's drama.  even when she screams and throws her fantastic fits.  she's the yummiest little thing, and every time she coughs funny, or makes a weird noise in the back seat, I"m scared that I'll turn around and she will be having another seizure...and even though they tell me that I don't need to call 9-1-1 afterward, it's the scariest thing, and I'm afraid that she won't come out of it.  

she's a little turkey, and obviously, i love her so much that she scares me.  

no more seizures, OK?